Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Just let me vanish.

Dead for some time huh.
A lot had been happening.
Complete whirl.

Lost control over my emotions.
Lost control over my thinking.
Lost control over self control.
Lost control over everything that needs to be controlled.

I don't like to be forced, hate to be forced to do things that's against my will.
Why must you do this?
WHY MUST YOU FORCE ME?
I just want to be me.
Is it really that difficult?

I'm tired of hiding who I am.
I'm tired of not being me.
I'm tired of trying to be who I am not.
I'm tired of trying to maintain an image that isn't me, AT ALL.

It's MY life.
Why can't I choose what I want?
Why don't I get a choice of where I want to go?

What if I disappear suddenly?
What if I really really went missing?
Cause this is what I really want to now.
Vanish.

The thought of death is all over head.
But I know I can't.

Holy shit.
I'm crying in class. This is just awesome.
Really.

KAIEN.