Eloha~
So yeah, I've enjoyed this month.
Taiwan, Shenzhen and HK within a month.
But all thanks to mom, without her I wouldn't have the amount of money to go for so many trips.
Still, I have so many more places to go.
I wanna travel, I wanna see the world.
But the next time I travel, I'm gonna pay for myself.
Well whatever it is, time to face reality.
Time to get a job. Time to earn. Time to support myself and my family.
Time to this, time to that.
Time for loads of responsibility of ADULTHOOD.
YES I KNOW.
But CV not written, no aim, no nothing.
I don't know where to start.
& no. I'm not planning for uni so shut it.
My life is a bleak.
Yup, I know I seem hopeless.
Or maybe I am huh.
You know? It kinda suck when you are going insane thinking of what you wanna do with your future and your mom comes in and continue putting stress on you?
Yes mom, I know you are worried.
But so am I. It's my future. I know how important it is.
I don't wanna complain but I need to say it.
I know you've tried to give me everything I wanted and I really appreciate that.
But please I beg you to not stress me about getting a job.
I don't know how much hope you're putting on me and I'm afraid that I would just let you down.
You know ever since the day I came back from HK I was so reluctant to return home.
Cause I can totally foresee what's coming for me?
I know you're gonna start nagging at me.
& indeed, I was right.
Can you imagine you just getting off the plane, reached home and wants to relax.
But what you get is not your mom welcoming you home, instead she's telling you it's time to face reality and start getting a job?
We're not under financial crisis are we, mom?
You made me cry within 10 mins after reaching home. That's a record.
I'm going 20, I still want to enjoy the last of my teenage life.
Not that I don't want to get a job.
I will. But what's the rush?
I don't know what to think now.
& after that night I don't know how I should talk to you.
There's a barrier, somehow.
Maybe I just can't live up to your expectations.
I hate to cry. I really hate it.
I'm starting to find myself really useless cause I fail to handle such tiny amount of stress as compared to others.
KAIEN.