New addiction?

I can never get it right.


Yes, the guitar.
Played it for hours and still can't get the basics right.
Forever out of tune.
& my poor fingers hurts.
BLISTERS! ):

Don't care.
I will get the tunes right sooner or later.
Just that the guitar is not mine so can't play it as and when I want to.
Blah.

KAIEN.

I'll be fine, just not tonight.

Eloha~
So yeah, I've enjoyed this month.
Taiwan, Shenzhen and HK within a month.
But all thanks to mom, without her I wouldn't have the amount of money to go for so many trips.
Still, I have so many more places to go.
I wanna travel, I wanna see the world.
But the next time I travel, I'm gonna pay for myself.

Well whatever it is, time to face reality.
Time to get a job. Time to earn. Time to support myself and my family.
Time to this, time to that.
Time for loads of responsibility of ADULTHOOD.
YES I KNOW.

But CV not written, no aim, no nothing.
I don't know where to start.
& no. I'm not planning for uni so shut it.
My life is a bleak.
Yup, I know I seem hopeless.
Or maybe I am huh.

You know? It kinda suck when you are going insane thinking of what you wanna do with your future and your mom comes in and continue putting stress on you?
Yes mom, I know you are worried.
But so am I. It's my future. I know how important it is.
I don't wanna complain but I need to say it.

I know you've tried to give me everything I wanted and I really appreciate that.
But please I beg you to not stress me about getting a job.
I don't know how much hope you're putting on me and I'm afraid that I would just let you down.

You know ever since the day I came back from HK I was so reluctant to return home.
Cause I can totally foresee what's coming for me?
I know you're gonna start nagging at me.
& indeed, I was right.

Can you imagine you just getting off the plane, reached home and wants to relax.
But what you get is not your mom welcoming you home, instead she's telling you it's time to face reality and start getting a job?
We're not under financial crisis are we, mom?
You made me cry within 10 mins after reaching home. That's a record.
I'm going 20, I still want to enjoy the last of my teenage life.
Not that I don't want to get a job.
I will. But what's the rush?

I don't know what to think now.
& after that night I don't know how I should talk to you.
There's a barrier, somehow.

Maybe I just can't live up to your expectations.
I hate to cry. I really hate it.

I'm starting to find myself really useless cause I fail to handle such tiny amount of stress as compared to others.

KAIEN.

This sucks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH LENG.
SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW TILL NOW.
Oops :X



Hi. Didn't update for sometime so here I am.

Anyway this sucks.
Went out for awhile and back.
It feels so early. Too early to be home.
Sigh. Dislike.

I wanna drink.
Get drunk. Sleep, wake up and not recall a single shit.
But I know that's not gonna happen.

Very tempted to open my double black.
Should I?

WHY IN THE WORLD AM I FEELING SO MOODY.

KAIEN.

Oh hi.

Revived.

KAIEN.

Freedom.

Finally. All is done. Yesterday.
But really like no life. After exams go home. I can't even believe myself. It's really the last of poly life..

Anyway Maine saved me from rotting at home. And went clubbing at night with qiu and her friends.
It's been long.

Something is a miss. But I can't figure out what. Maybe I should just stop thinking about it.

I guess I won't see you guys anymore.

Kaien. You need to stop hoping. It's not going to happen.

KAIEN.

1 more.

THIS TOTALLY SUCKS.
WHY EVERYTHING SO ALIEN.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO STUDY.
HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW.

SOMEONE. KILL. ME. NOW!

KAIEN.

Endure.

Just 2 more.
Don't give up just yet..

4 days.

Week 2.

Sigh.

KAIEN.

Sleepy.

Trying to study but so very sleepy ):
Due to the lack of rest?
Had been running 3 nights in a row.
Crazy much.

Eyes, please be good and weigh lesser.

KAIEN.

Few more to go.

FOCUS.

So freaking difficult.

KAIEN.

1 down. 3 to go.

I guess Retail is alright today.
Next week is what I fear. Sigh.
Need.Help.Desperately.

Had been meeting my babes a lot these days.
My only companions when I need the most.
But still, vexed.
Very very vexed.

Hi baby J. Love you.
Everything he does makes me laugh.
Carefree.


I need to study.
Stop feeling vexed. Need to study.

9 more days.

猜不透。
Waiting for 2 weeks?

NEED TO STUDY.
Nothing else matters okay. *chants x98823764893264723401 times*
KAIEN.

Enough.

Having exam tomorrow and now this.

What is it that you want. Really.
It's been so long, what do you want from me.
Can't you just let the matter rest?
What do you gain from keep asking and asking with getting the same answer?
Hello? MOVE ON.

No point in asking me to meet up.
No point in wanting to talk.
There is nothing serious between us and there is nothing that we have to say.
STOP IT.

Don't think that I can't get over you.
Don't think that I still have feelings for you.
Don't think that there will still be any chance that I will be back to you.
NO. Really no.

Don't think that I can't get over you.
I've never blogged anything about my relationship before.
Congrats, you're the first.

But sorry, it's not a nice post.
It's not anything that I'm proud of.

KAIEN.

Happy Valentines!

Happy valentine's day to all couples, lovers, whatever! Hahaha!

I just realized the 2 idiots posted on my blog. Tsk!
Anyway yes, I love them!
& since very sadly I have no valentine, they're my valentines! Hehehehe! Xoxo.
Nothing lasts longer than this kind of friendship.

Wondering and secretly hoping for things that would never come.
BYE!

KAIEN.

The 2 shameless idiots.

MY BEST FRIENDS AND I LOVE THEM ^^

Lost.

Met up with xy, grace and jh last night for drinking session.
We finished 1 bottle in an hour I think?
& after that is totally FML period.

For the first time, I see the world spin.
For the first time, I feel so giddy I just lay on the floor.
For the first time, I totally lost control over myself.
For the first time, I don't know what I had texted and tweeted.
For the first time, I SERIOUSLY FEEL SO BAD.

What had I done to myself.
Getting drunk was never in my list. Okay I wasn't drunk. Just too high. Over the top. Kept laughing. Now recalling, it's so retarded.

& now after all that, I had to read whatever that I had texted or tweeted to know what exactly went on last night.
& can someone please tell me why?
People say when you get drunk you forget everything and wake up fine.
But I woke up feeling so freaking down.
A huge urge to cry but just couldn't.
It sucks. Really really sucks. Makes me feel like screaming.

Leave me alone.

KAIEN.

This is it.

School's out finally, since yesterday.
For lessons I mean, not officially.

I guess the 3 years in RP did make an impact although I really hate it sometimes.
The people I meet. Crazy, fun, irritating, annoying etc.
I had a total of 5 different classes and had a hell lot of hi-bye friends.
Some don't even bother to say hi.
We're as good as strangers. The negative side of having too many different classes.
Anyway, pros and cons.

Well, I'm still glad that there are some really fun people I've met in these 3 years and are still in contact.
Mainly people from my year 1 classes.
W34L, W35E.
Xinyi, Grace, Beelin, Junhan, Shirley, Cheng Heng, Nielsen, Ruby, Sarah, Jon.
Pardon me if I miss out anyone. But they are the ones that I won't forget for sure.
Unforgettable people (:











Hmm, I don't really like my year 2 classes.
But yah, there are still people that are fun to be around.
Jovi is one very random close friend in one of my year 2 class that I gained. Thanks to the Korea trip. Haha.
Otherwise I don't think we'll be talking much anyway.
My 猪大姐 LOL.
Other than him, people that I'm closer to now from year 2 class would be Dom and Keith. 
The 2 most random people that I'm still in contact with currently. Lol.
Fun people to be around! 





I HAD TO LAUGH AT THIS PHOTO. HAHAHA


Year 3.
First semester at intern. Gained colleagues instead of friends.
Pretty glad that I'm attached to Philips with awesome colleagues who are patient enough and not blow their top for any mistakes that I had made.
Thankful.



Semester 2, the most recent class.
Totally insane classmates.
We may not be extremely united as a class but they are seriously fun to be with.
A very noisy bunch though. But that's where all the jokes and nonsense comes in.
Love all of them.
& I'm super extremely ultimately glad that this semester, all my faci are awesome.
Okay lah, maybe the Lean faci not as awesome but whatever :X



& of course not forgetting my FYP team mates.
Huiying, Dionis, Caroline, Eugene.
From the start other than Huiying I basically know none of them.
But they are friendly and fun enough to be with lah.
Although still a bit awkward at times cause it's as though we come from different worlds.
Still, pulled thorough the 15 weeks and completed the damn FYP :D
( Just realized. I have totally no photos with my FYP mates at all.. )

& also, thanks to RP, I got to travel to Korea as well as the upcoming Hong Kong.
The only thing I love RP for other than just giving me a chance to meet all the wonderful peeps! Heee (:

This sums up my life in poly I suppose? Heh.

Enough of blabbering.
1 week to the last UT that I'm gonna take in RP.
Get it done and that's it.
BWAHAHAHAHA.

16 days.

KAIEN.

Can't wait!

2 more days of school.
1 week of study break.
4 days of UT.
&.... ?

H.O.L.I.D.A.Y!!!!

Yeah man!
Seriously can't wait!

19 days to get away with babies.
37 days to get away with school/classmates.

I AM SO GONNA ENJOY MY HOLIDAYS!!!

BUTTTTTTTTT..
WHAT TO DO AFTER ALL THOSE ENJOYMENT?!
Sigh.

Enrollment for uni has already started.
But not interested in further studies.
Shall get a decent job first.
BUT WORK AS WHAT LAH ):

Why uh, after diploma so stress one.
Me no like )':

Goodbye.

KAIEN.

The countdown begins.

20 days babies! WOOOOO!

KAIEN.

CNY visiting with them (:

Went to 百米粉 for dinner with the E4 usuals and went to mr yip's house for visiting.

Come to think of it, I got to know mr yip when I was 15 and when CSS was just 5 years old. But now the school is 12. I feel old :/

Anyway, had an impromptu trip to Larry's house too! Hahah!

These people are really awesome and I hope the meet ups would continue on and on. And of course visiting mr yip every year :p

Love you'll! xoxo.

Labeled ah lian -.-

 

Very ah lian meh?! I still can't get over this :/
People who saw this all agree that I look like one. Rudy even commented he thought I was one when I first saw me. And it's unbelievable.
WHICH PART OF ME SAY I LIAN?! ):
Ever since year 1.. T_T

Anyway I did something I never thought I would before. Going window shopping at town alone.
Now I can officially say I'm #foreveralone right. HAHAHA
Yes, I was that bored at home. Everyone is busy with their own stuff. What to do.

Booked tickets and hotel for getaway!
Can't wait!

KAIEN.

We will be young and wild and free

Finally, today marks the end of FYP. Eh actually not really uh. Still have company presentation next week. Anyway, done with school so at least 1 less thing to worry about already.

Presentation today didn't go too well for me I think. Stuttered. Eh, ah, erm.. All came out -.- #FAIL
But it's over. So pass can already. Pretty please!

2 weeks later UT3. Get it over and done with and I will be done with RP! I guess I will still miss school although I complain a lot. Heh.
But for sure, I will miss my beloved classmates over these 3 years.

Nothing to be happy of graduating actually. Cause? Job, money, future. I'm clueless.

Sigh.

& I miss your nonsense.
Really don't know why it has to be this way suddenly.

KAIEN.